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 Ohh, I hear some drunk guys outside screaming, grunting, and banging on trash cans. Hang on. Okay, I see them running around the street aaaand... a taxi is about to... nope. The guys got out of the way in time. The taxi driver honked angrily in response. So, here I am again. Unable to sleep. My mind won't stop racing. If I could, I would take my brain out, set it on the window ledge and tell it to chill out. Dude, just sit there and take in the gloomy cityscape, okay? Thanks, man. Homegirl would appreciate that. Anyway, I was up yesterday as well and I actually wrote something in my deranged state. Ready for this? Because when I went to read it again this morning, I went, "That's, uh, something else." Behold what my mind spews out at 2AM: She could sense movement, she could feel presence, she could see the shapes dancing through her mind. Sounds blared in her ears. She couldn't raise her hands to cover them. Vibrations shook her feet. She couldn't move to safer ground. She wanted to leave, run, flee. She sensed movement again. Closer this time. She couldn't shrink away. Why, why, why, she thought. Is this a dream? Why am I here? Why can't I wake up? She didn't want to be in this state anymore. "Is it over? Can I open my eyes again?" A comforting hand squeezed her shoulder and she opened her eyes. Much better. I think I was trying to say that being awake is better than sleeping. Or at least that I preferred being awake? At any rate, a lot is on my mind even though I think there shouldn't be. It just can't stop oozing with thoughts. Like, when I'm sitting and eating a sandwich, my mind goes into overdrive and shouts, "HOLY GOD THIS SANDWICH IS AMAZING WHY DON'T I MAKE THIS MORE OFTEN I LOVE HOW THE MUSTARD COMPLEMENTS THE HONEYED HAM--" At this point, I think to myself, "Dude, stop capslock shouting at me!" And my mind goes, "oh geez, sorry. it's just this sandwich is rocking the taste buds." Pretty much, all I want to do is to be able to sit, eat my sandwich in peace and have my mind think about nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Just for a few minutes. That's all I ask. Heck, even when I sleep, it's not a well-rested kind of sleep. You know? It's become a chore. I know I should be sleeping, I should be getting rest. But I'm not. I go to bed restless and wake up unsettled. Okay, I have no idea what I'm talking about anymore. I think I'm going to go toss and turn until I fall asleep. Ohh, I hear a siren. No TrackBacksTrackBack URL: http://www.toastier.org/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/200 |
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Hi, my name is Amy. Be well, and say hello!
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All I want to do is to be able to sit, eat my sandwich in peace and have my mind think about nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Just for a few minutes. That's all I ask.
I sympathize, but...
...no you wouldn't.
I know.