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 Somehow, I got on the topic of love with a co-worker today. He's much older than I am and after all his experiences, he said he knows he'll never settle down. He's had boyfriend after boyfriend, and it's just plain fun. What did he say? Oh, he said to milk a relationship for what it's worth and when it ends, just move on. My other co-worker said to him that he was afraid of getting hurt, that's why he won't settle down. Turns out, he did have a long term relationship with someone, and one day it just ended. Since then, he's been getting down and around. (Though, I caught a look of sadness in his eyes when he was telling us about his long term relationship.) I didn't know how to respond, or actually, I couldn't get in my two cents because he was so forceful and adamant about it. I wanted to ask, "But... won't you ever get tired of it?" Wouldn't someone get tired of having a string of... flings? Wouldn't that scare you? Somehow I feel that's even more lonely than a life of just being truly single. It would just feel like you'd be incomplete all the time. I don't know. I think I'm more fascinated than anything else. I guess I'm just a romantic. The idea of growing old with someone who truly appreciates you for who you are and sharing your life with someone... okay, well, that sounds scary but you know what I mean. To love someone and to be loved back for exactly who they/you are, faults and quirks and everything, is what I'm trying to say. It really is a fragile thing though; it can be broken so easily. And when that happens... oh. I can see where my co-worker is coming from. But even so, isn't there a hint of hope that you might find something like that again? To want that feeling again? To want to have someone to snuggle with? Or is it too much energy and effort? But if you're really in love, doesn't that make a relationship slightly easier? Or are all relationships actually just difficult knowing that there's always that delicate balance of give and take? Why can't I stop writing in questions? Maybe I'm just too idealistic and hopeful about things. I could blame the romance in books and movies for filling my head with things like "love conquers all" and "happily ever after," but the truth is, I think that's what we all kind of strive for. Like Tim says in Spaced, "Happy endings are a myth designed to make us feel better about the fact that life is just a thankless struggle." No TrackBacksTrackBack URL: http://www.toastier.org/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/291 |
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Hi, my name is Amy. Be well, and say hello!
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I swear the older I get the more scared I become about never finding anyone, and the more scared I become about spending the rest of my life with just one person. I don't know. Maybe I just like to worry. ;)
I'm a firm believer in the idea that some people are just the monogamous type and others just really aren't. True, there are plenty of people that think they fall into the second category because they're afraid of getting hurt (again), but I think that there doesn't have to be one idea of love to suit all people.
Also, I think that relationships are about more than being in love. Love is not a panacea for still being annoying human beings in general. I also feel that an active feeling of being in love ebbs and flows depending on lots of things, so people should trust in the underlying constant that you may not be feeling when he comes in and throws his stuff on the floor. Again.
:)
"To love someone and to be loved back for exactly who they/you are, faults and quirks and everything, is what I'm trying to say. It really is a fragile thing though; it can be broken so easily. And when that happens... oh. I can see where my co-worker is coming from."
ha, my thought process every day.