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 I'm watching a very beautiful sunset out my window right now. The sky is filled with pink and blue hues complemented by very expansive cloud coverage, the kind that emanates from the sun spreading more and more as it tries to reach out and engulf you. I would take a photo but these days, I've been learning to enjoy the moment rather than capture it.  Holy moly, we're having a heat wave over here! It's in the high 80's all weekend, even until Tuesday (that's the low 30's, for you celsius folks)! After that, it looks like it's going to cool back down a bit, but it's such a nice summer tease! I've exclaimed this whole entry! Heat wave!  - Doctors' Diaries - Here's looking at you, kids - Fan made Wall-E computer case - 'Sound of Music' in Central Station Antwerp - Composite photos of New Yorkers (amazing!) - This is the best URL (try telling that to someone) (Previously: Lists, part 22)  Whenever I take brief jaunts anywhere for the weekend, I tend to leave my computer at home. I figure I can live a few days without the internet, email, feeds and the like. I did just that this past weekend, and you know what? It was refreshing not having to check things every 2 seconds. It was just me and my phone-- I sent a few texts here and there, made a phone call and that was the extent of my technology use. It felt good to step away from all of that. Meanwhile, my friend was glued to her iPhone. Almost every time I turned to say something, she was staring at it or tapping away. It kind of hindered conversation, but there's nothing wrong with that, and I have nothing against it-- I actually found it really amusing. (It's an iPhone, guys. Endless entertainment and endless everything known to man. I guess I should feel kind of insulted that a machine was more entertaining than a friend, but I'm really not.) I don't know if she noticed the things I noticed or enjoyed the tiny instances I enjoyed. And it made me wonder if being too connected is a bad thing. I mean, human interaction is a beautiful thing. Communication is an essential part of our lives because no matter how much we want to be alone sometimes, we're never truly secluded. (That's a good thing. Imagine living in solitary confinement forever. It would and does drive anyone crazy!) Anyway, I pondered that on my way back into the city.  Flight of the Conchords live = A++! They are so funny and so great. I just want to hang out with them and be their friend. And Kristen Schaal (aka, Mel)! Holy cow, she is hilarious. I don't know what else to say! Bret and Jemaine are the best! I'm glad I finally got to see them live! (And am sad that season 2 was their last, aww.)  "I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me. But Karen knows me, and she still hates me, so..." -- Pam Beesly, The Office That... is me. The other night I was thinking of people who don't really like me or at least don't think well of me, and I came up with three that I was aware of (aka, from my perspective, in my head). I'm sure there are probably more-- hey, not everyone can be Tom Hanks. I mean, it's not like I'm horrible and annoying (or am I?) but sometimes my honesty gets me in trouble more than I'd like and yeah, when I was younger I probably inadvertently caused some pain. You know that 30 Rock episode where Liz goes to her high school reunion? And she thought she was the girl that everyone made fun of, except it was the opposite-- she was the mean girl in high school. ("See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch!" Oh man, that movie is solid gold.) Geez, now I feel like Liz Lemon. Maybe I WAS horrible in high school and my memories are now somewhat altered because that's what kind of happens as time passes! (I've always had fond memories of high school.) Anyway, we all grow up and we all change. Whoever we were in the past, is the past. Who we are presently, is who we are. At the core of it, there's a part of you that doesn't change, and I think that's what makes us all unique. I've spent my whole life learning and trying to do the "right" thing, to be nice, to be kind, to be giving, to have humility, to... be a good person. I'd like to think that I was (and still am) that good person, and I'm trying to be a better person as I keep on growing. You know, the whole learning from your mistakes, acknowledging your faults and, heck, I was told two weeks ago that I am very self-aware. (It was refreshing to hear that.) I guess I was just thinking that if I emailed each of the three people, I would feel better. That if I apologized for any pain caused by my honesty and said I'm really not that kind of person from the short time you knew me, I would have a burden lifted from my shoulders. Except... I think about this now, and I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. It would sort of be like opening Pandora's Box. Maybe what's left in the past should stay there, and if we meet again face-to-face, they'll get to know the present-me. On a more personal note, I know I can't change everything, just like I can't save everyone. Because not everyone wants or needs to saved. But, anyway, maybe I should let bygones be bygones and live with the idea that not everyone... likes me. And that's okay. It's something I'm not entirely comfortable with, like Pam, but it is what it is. It's based on the play "Crave" by Sarah Kane. Every time I watch this video, I feel this happy-sadness, this bittersweetness, this oddly satisfying ride of emotions. And I like that.  I guess when they say April showers (bring May flowers), they really mean it. Lots and lots of rain these days...  Hello, toastier.org got a little facelift. I've had the previous layout for... almost 2 years now, although it feels much, much longer. And believe me when I say this, I absolutely love that layout-- it never got old for me. It kind of made me look forward to writing here. But, I think it was time to retire it, and so I did. This is the fourth version of site, and since the previous layout, I've incorporated lyrics from a certain song in the titles of my pages. (Last time it was "Into the Mystic" by Van Morrison.) If you can figure it out without looking it up, bravo! Also, I've added a past layouts link to the about page-- it really is for me more than anything because I can see what I've done with this little place. But I thought I'd share anyway! (Above photo from Noah Kalina.) |
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Hi, my name is Amy. Be well, and say hello!
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